Many an air guitar has been played at discos across the nation when Van Halen's 1984 hit Jump blerted out of the loudspeakers. But the cover is taken from their album 1984 and does not demonstrate in any way, how to actually jump. So the remixed cover does this for you. What you obviously need to do is remove all your clothes and then launch yourself into the air, preferably in a garden or other public space.
If ever a song title was rife for a-remixing, it has to be Calvin Harris with his song Bounce (featuring Kelis). The original cover shows Mr Harris wearing some rather odd looking sunglasses that would appear to pretty much cut out all the light. The remix shows us why he needed them as he's obviously trying to shield his eyes from the de-light of the bouncy jiggling jugs of the pretty babe on the cover.
How many people does it take to participate in Argentina's national dance? According to Richard Myhill, It Takes Two To Tango. To illustrate this, on the original single cover, we find Mr Myhill standing holding a vinyl single with a blow-up doll whose hand seems to be down his trousers. On the remix we find two babes who aren't exactly in a tango stance, but look like they might be dancing. As all good dancers, their clothes consist of their kitten heel shoes and, for one of them, a nipple chain. And not a lot else. How latin!
Freeez (yes, that is three 'e's in a row, and is an anagram of Freeze as it is usually written) are Flying High, or Fliyng Hhgi as we understand they wanted to write it but were refused by the record company. On the original cover of the single we find the band members sitting around a restaurant as a babe in a red dress dances, or maybe she is attempting to fyl. On the remix there is no need for maybe, as we find a babe in her stewardesses uniform, or at least what is left of one. In other words a hat. Just a hat. Nothing more. We're cretina that she will Ylf Gihh. [that's quite enough of that]
I Can Dream About You, but possibly Dan Hartman can't. Why would we say this? It's because on the original single front cover all you can see is Mr Hartman standing in an alley-way with some of the other members of the band standing behind him. Do his dreams include nothing other than alleys? On the remix is a busty babe who is definitely worth dreaming about. It looks like the feeling might be mutual as she seems to be in a bit of a daydream herself. So much so that she has forgotten to get fully dressed. Tangerine!
Don't let 'em out, Let 'Em In. Don't let 'em down or up either, just in. And with those instructions, Wings sings along a song and to go with it, they provide cover artwork which only shows Mr McCartney and it looks as if he has already been let in. On the remix is a babe standing at a door which she has opened ready to let us in. She is naked which suggests that there might be a rush to be let in, so get a move on. Lock!
Come on and Rescue Me, that is what Fontella Bass is requesting, nay forcefully telling us that we should do. To illustrate this, Ms Bass stands on the original single cover artwork with a whip. She doesn't look like she needs rescuing. On the remix are two babes who are trapped behind the bars of a window, and who desperately need to be rescued. The fact that they are naked means that the sooner the rescuer can get to them, the better. Bars!
For some reason it is those classic old songs that are best suited to a remix of the covers. This is a 1959 song from Connie Francis but is still known today as Lipstick On Your Collar is as common today as it was then. Of course the outlook changes from a simple cover with some lipstick on it, to a hot naked chick with lipstick on. As they say on the old Chicken Box, 'keep the lipstick off your dipstick'. Good advice. Then again, maybe not.
Anyone who has listened to Go See The Doctor by Kool Moe Dee will know that the story recognizes the many health problems that can be associated with unprotected sex. The original cover makes no reference to this. On the remix, we find that going to see the doctor may, in itself, lead to some kind of unprotection, as the nurse tending to your needs is a hot babe who will make you want to go see the doctor on as many occasions as possible. Sticky!