Another remix for Michael Jackson, this time for his song Dirty Diana. On the original single front cover artwork all we can see are Mr Jackson's rather flamboyant cowboy boots. What is it that he is looking at? Why, it might be the babe on the remix whose name may or may not be Diana. One thing is for certain, though, being covered in mud, she is most definitely dirty. The fact that she is naked in the mud makes her doubly dirty. Sludge!
Swing low. Swing out. Swing over. And while your at it, Swing My Way. That is the preferred direction of swing for K.P. And Envyi. To help you swing their way, the original single front cover artwork shows the back of two loudspeakers. Yes, that makes sense. On the remix is a babe, swinging, on a swing. Far less sensible? Only because she is doing so while topless. It is to be strongly hoped that she will not fall off as that could be very damaging. Oscillate!
We give a silver star to Jethro Tull for the original artwork for their album Bursting Out. That is because on the front cover they have a balloon, and as this was a live album, they show a singer on stage. The back side of the cover showed the other side of the balloon, a nice touch. On the remix we find a pinup babe bursting out from a grey piece of paper, as people did in the 1950s. It is perhaps a good job that she isn't wearing a bra, as she may have burst out of that too. Bust!
The Dickies bring us the song Banana Splits, sometimes sub-titled 'The Tra La La Song' and known by some as 'One Banana, Two Banana'. The original single front cover artwork shows the title of the song, the name of the band, and a banana. If you look closely, you will see that the title of the song is made from small bananas. On the remix is a babe whose split is (just about) covered with a banana colored bikini. Doesn't that give you the dickies? Canary!
Barbara Stephan brings us her single The River. On the original single front cover artwork we find Ms Stephan looking up at us through a fuzzy piece of glass. There isn't much of a river visible, unless it is a river of fuzziness. On the remix we find a babe who is taking a dip in a river. She seems to have forgotten to wear her swimming costume, bikini, or indeed any clothes at all. Perhaps her brain was overloaded with some kind of water-fuzz, should such a thing exist. Perhaps Ms Stephan could help her. Bank!
Cliff Richard claims to be Wired For Sound. On the original single front cover artwork, he is at least standing in front of a microphone which presumably is wired up to some equipment, though it could be a radio microphone in which case it would be wireless. Then again, it was the 1980s so, yes, it's more likely to be wired. On the remix we find a babe standing on a rooftop wearing headphones that are not wireless, as the wire can clearly be seen casting a shadow on her body. And wouldn't you know it, her wireless bra has fallen off, as have many other of her clothes. Bluetooth!
Some song titles just lend themselves to being remixed and Life Is Too Short Girl by Sheer Elegance is just such a song. The original single front cover artwork is typical for the 1970s showing photographs of the band members against a fetching brown background. On the remix we find a babe who is wearing an elegant, sheer negligee. Luckily for her, it is not too short, nor is it too long, as the hem just covers her apparent lack of underwear. Segment!
Unfortunately for The Verve, The Drugs Don't Work. Also unfortunately, the original single front cover artwork gives no indication at all of the nature of the ailment they are trying to remedy, or the type of drugs that they were intending to use to do so. On the remix is a babe puffing away on what looks like something that could contain certain types of drugs. The ailment she is trying to remedy seems to be an over-reliance on fishnet tops. Reef!
Another remix for Darius. On the original single cover artwork for his song Colourblind (or colorblind as we would write it in the US) (or black and white as Jack who works in the web development team says it should be called) we find just an image of the lead singer. On the remix we find a babe who is walking along a beach wearing multi-coloured (multi-colored) socks and carrying a blow-up beach bed in the same colour-scheme (color-scheme). Those heels on that sand are not a good idea. Nor are certain other elements of her outfit. Wrap!
The original front cover artwork for Another Girl, Another Planet by The Only Ones has a big hole in the middle which is just shouting out for a remix. And on the remix, the hole has been filled with a drawing of babe wearing a space suit, though oddly, in addition to having a helmet for her head, the suit also seems to have clear bubbles for her boobs. Obviously there is some future need for this that those of us from a past era cannot comprehend. Pop!