Hanging On The Telephone is perhaps best know for the version which Blondie, however it was originally recorded by The Nerves. The original single front cover artwork showed the band members and though they might have been hanging from anything, this isn't shown. On the remix is a babe who is making a telephone call, from her bubble bath. She isn't hanging (as in dangling) from the bath or from any telephone booth, but if she has been put on hold, she may well be hanging on the telephone. Wait!
How many times has someone begun a story with the phrase To Cut A Long Story Short, and then gone on to talk for hours giving every last detail of some really boring tale? Well it seems as if Spandau Ballet were so bored that for the original single front cover artwork that all they put on it, other than a fancy border, was the name of the band and the title of the song. On the remix we have a babe who has cut her t-shirt a little short. There is a long story about why she did this but to cut a long story short, she got bored with a pair of scissors. Chop!
Another singer who sings about Camouflage is Rod Stewart. The original album front cover artwork shows Mr Stewart looking very 1980s with his bouffant hair and his ear piercing. He isn't very well hidden though. On the remix is a babe who was wearing camouflage, but seems to have decided that by unbuttoning it, she might somehow be less visible if she took it off. Given her shiny lipstick is shining like the landing lights on a 747, this seems to be an odd decision. Cherry!
It's always a special moment when it Feels Just Like It Should, so Jamiroquai should be happy. On the original single front cover artwork, however, it just a piece of broken glass, and a drawing of a man wearing a horny hat. On the remix are two horny but hatless babes, and one is checking how the other one feels. Hopefully it feels just like it should, otherwise this would not make a good picture for the remix. At least we can say with some certainty, it looks just like it should. Sensitive!
With the name of a song and an album by Kenny Chesney which goes No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems, then the original front cover artwork misses the boat by a county mile as Mr Chesney can clearly be seen on it wearing a shirt. Or a T-shirt at least. On the remix is a babe who is not definitely not wearing a shirt. Whether she is wearing shoes we don't know, because her legs are cut out of the picture. No problems there, are there, then? Torso!
There are two things which could be used to remix Go Go Dancer by The Wedding Present. Firstly, the remix could be based on the name of the song and we could have replaced the blue number two on the cover with a babe dancing. Alternatively, it could be based around the idea of a wedding present, such as a set of dishes or a toaster. Instead we decided to go with the kind of present you might wish for at one of a go go dancer, or at least the kind of wedding present that the groom might wish for. White!
She's The One. Is she now? Perhaps Robbie Williams can help. The 'one' that he suggests is illustrated on the original single front cover artwork by a pair of heavily lipsticked lips. That could be one 'one'. The remix shows an alternative 'one' that she could be, in the shapely form of a babe who is very busty but who is sporting a bra that holds everything together, and supports her application to be the 'one'. Or should that be, the 'two'? Maybe we should ask Mr Williams how he feels about it. If not, we shall just have to feel for ourselves. Three!
Don't even get us started on the name of the band when it's called Andy + The Lamboy Versus Dreamgate. What is a lamboy? And why are they versing anyone? The original single front cover artwork for Now We Are Free (Theme From Gladiator) shows a colosseum at sunset (or is it sunrise?) The remix reflects more on the notion of a gladiator rather than the venue where they might perform, and shows a babe standing in a gladiatorial outfit with a big sword. Don't get too close or she'll cut you to pieces. Roman!
Let's head down to The Fields Of Love with ATB Featuring York and see what we can find there. Well, if we go by the picture on the original single front cover artwork, there is plenty of wheat blowing about, but where is the love? It seems it was just a camera angle problem, as when the photographer raised to standing height, it became apparent that amidst the fields of gold is a big nearly naked babe taking off the last of her clothing. Or maybe she is putting it back on again, it's difficult to be sure. Barley!
It's Sinful! What is? The original front cover artwork for this single by Pete Wylie. All it shows is a pair of eyes looking at something. Of course if the eyes were staring at something they shouldn't be, that might be sinful, but there is no evidence of this. On the remix is a babe who is sitting in the pew at a church wearing nothing other than tartan underwear and high heels which is not what most people would consider to be a suitable outfit for a Sunday. This seems to us to be particularly sinful, if not totally sacrilegious. Iniquitous!