The original cover of Killer Queen by British rock megaband Queen is, to put it mildly, lackluster. It just shows the band with floppy 1970s haircuts looking, if anything, bored. The remix shows exactly what it should, a devilishly dastardly queen whose looks could kill, let along her evil magic. Whatever you do, don't drink the glowing purple substance in the wine glass she is holding, that's sure to make her a killer queen for sure.
Today we find East 17 and they are Deep. How deep you might be wondering. Well, if the original single front cover artwork is anything to go by, it is deep down some back alleyway. On the remix is a babe who, by her costume, appears to me a maid. The presence of a spray bottle on the window, and broom handle, is also perhaps evidence of this. And the fact that the broom handle is heading deep inside her back alleyway ties in with the original single cover. Handler!
This is the fifth remix for Scottish band Simple Minds and it is for their song Waterfront. On the original single front cover artwork, we can see a lake, which is a good start, but there is no front of any discernible kind. On the remix we find a babe standing right next to the water, on the waterfront. She has some front too, standing there in nothing but her high heels. And as she is nearly naked, we can see her front too. Mouth watering!
Could anyone be under any misapprehensions at all about what it is that Rodney Carrington wishes to be shown, when he sings Show Them To Me, as the original cover artwork features Mr Carrington resting his weary soul against the bra of an oversized babe. On the remix, a different babe has succumbed to Mr Carrington's wishes and has removed her bra to show 'them' to him, and to the rest of the world. Buckle!
It's time for some country and western as we join Jon Pardi who has fallen, apparently, Head Over Boots. The original single cover artwork shows a smiling Mr Pardi in his ole' country singer's hat. On the remix we find a babe who has literally fallen head over boots. That is what happens when you walk around forests in autumn in high heel boots. Luckily there was a chair in the way to catch her fall. Crimson!
Under instruction from Odyssey, we are told to Hang Together. If that just means hanging out together, then the original single cover artwork does the job of showing us the band members hanging about. On the remix four babes have decided that they will hang together, but in this case, for some unexplained reason, they are hanging upside down. In the process, their bikini tops appear to have fallen off. Maybe they didn't tie them well enough. Knotty!
Whatever else you might decide to do, Don't Walk Away. That is the message that Jade are trying to pass across by standing looking fierce on the original cover artwork of their single. On the remix a babe is walking away, but she probably shouldn't as she has forgotten her top and appears to have heels so high that she could trip on that damaged concrete road she is traversing. Danger!
Today it is the turn of Matt Monro and his song From Russia With Love, which just happens to be the name of a James Bond movie of the same name. On the original artwork we find Sean Connery standing outside what appears to be the Blue Mosque in Istanbul, which, the last time we looked, wasn't in Russia. On the remix we find a leggy babe who we are led to believe, is actually Russian. With love.
One Direction seem to think that climbing onto a red telephone box in some way represents the title of their album Take Me Home. On the face of it, there would seem to be no connection between the two. The remixed album artwork, however, explains their keenness as we discover that a sexy babe is standing inside the phone box. Maybe they intend to take her, and the whole box home, but it would clearly have been easier just to take the babe and leave the box where it is. Payphone!
Like the cover artwork for many dance singles, Above And Beyond have made no effort to enhance listening pleasure through trying to describe Alone Tonight in graphical terms. The remix does a much better job as we find a babe standing alone at night (though paradoxically there must have been someone there taking the photo). Given the shortness of her skirt it seems unlikely she will remain alone for long. Bridges!