Happy Birthday to you, that is what Stevie Wonder is singing, over and over again, in this 80s song. On the original cover we find Mr Wonder and his beaded dreadlocks. On the remixed single cover we find two buxom mature babes, whose idea of a happy birthday seems to include one of them holding a frankfurter to the ass of the second one. Sausage!

Let's head down to The Fields Of Love with ATB Featuring York and see what we can find there. Well, if we go by the picture on the original single front cover artwork, there is plenty of wheat blowing about, but where is the love? It seems it was just a camera angle problem, as when the photographer raised to standing height, it became apparent that amidst the fields of gold is a big nearly naked babe taking off the last of her clothing. Or maybe she is putting it back on again, it's difficult to be sure. Barley!

Seamonsters (whoooo, splash). It is an album by The Wedding Present. That has to be stated as the original album cover artwork just shows a number of red < V > type signs floating around on a dark background. On the remix we see two real life seamonsters, who have decided to take a splash about in the sea. Don't get too close because if they start moving too quickly, a vortex will form and you will be lost at sea forever. Whoooo.

Ripe for remixing is Ms Fat Booty by Mos Def. Why is this so? On the single artwork we find Mr Bey (for that is his real name) sitting on a stool. Where is Ms Fat Booty? She is nowhere to be found, at least not on the original cover. However, she can be seen very clearly on the remix and appears to be a bountifully boobed woman (BBW) who is happy to wave her fat booty around to teach her pupils whilst squatting on her desk. Lessons!

You can almost see, on the original single cover, that Rod Stewart is infatuated with something, as his eye looks as if it has rested on some interesting titbit. That's Infatuation, Stewart style. On the remix are four very fat babes, which may have been what Mr Stewart had his eye on. If that was the case, then as the slightly changed single title shows, it wound have been in-fat-uation. Definitely not in-thin-uation. That would be in-sin-uation. OK, OK, enough already. Infuriation!

It's odd that the Levellers would choose to illustrate a song called This Garden by using a semi phallic face paint on the original single front cover artwork. On the first remix in this triple-play, a far more sensible picture emerges, one of a babe in black lingerie, standing in a garden. And not just any garden, this garden. On the second remix, a larger than life big babe is also in a garden (which could be this garden, or that garden) and though she is clearly trying to tempt you with her pose, there are no takers as far as can be seen. Towel!

Big Fun is what Inner City claim to be having. But the original front cover artwork for their single doesn't really indicate what kind of fun this is and why it is so big. Instead it just offers us a skyline, possibly of Detroit, MI, their home town. On the remix we find two babes having a lot of fun together doing some foxy wrestling. How big is their fun? Well the babe on the top is very large, so their fun must be of an equal proportion. Disproportionate!

We are very disappointed by the Backstreet Boys. The original single cover artwork is so boring and uninventive that they were either on a cost-cutting mission, or were just very pressed for time when they put it together. We have tried to help them improve this (for free too!) and on the remix we find a woman whose head is covered in a hood that shows us the shape of her heart. Given the skimpy string bikini she is half wearing, we can almost see the shape of lots of other parts of her too. Constraints!

This remix of Brick House by Commodores was sent to us by regular contributor Phil Darnall of Great Britain. Phil says:

This song is about a woman so big, they sing about her being a brick house. In England we use the term brick shit house. Either way, the original cover doesn't show any house. On the remix I have put a big boobed woman (BBW) who could be either a brick house or a brick shit house, or just shit, all descriptions seem equally appropriate.

We can see that. Thanks for the remix Phil. Blubberly!

Not just a remix, but a triple-play remix that is also an X-rated remix and to top it all, it was submitted by regular contributor Phil Darnall of the UK whose says his girlfriend Marie posed for this one. Phil tells us:

This is a famous song in the UK but the original artwork for Don't You Want Me by The Human League is rather lacking in 'want'. On the first remix a girl wrapped in nothing but a towel stands in front of a man, and there is a hint of want in his eyes. On the second remix the focus is on the 'don't' rather than the 'want'. Would you want the woman whose big baggy waist (BBW), fulsome rosey figure and kinky boots are on offer?

We can see where you're going with that Phil. 'You Want Me, Don't You?' is maybe a more accurate title for your rosey figurine who some may want and others maybe would't. Bountiful!