Geri (Halliwell as she was then known) a former member of the Spice Girls is telling us to Ride It. This is clearly illustrated on the original single front cover artwork by Ms Halliwell sitting down in a black dress with lots of lens flare. On the remix we can see a babe in red lipstick and red high heels (but little else) who has been given a small red tricycle and told to ride it. It's clearly too small for her, but she isn't giving up. Accelerate!
What is Underneath It All? That is the question that we find ourselves asking when we look at the original single front cover artwork by No Doubt. Their answer seems to be that what is underneath it all is Gwen Stefani and a ghetto-blaster. On the remix we find a babe standing in her heels and a see-through dress, so that we can see what is underneath it all. Oops, would you know it, she might not be quite the babe you thought she was underneath it all. Review!
Here comes Missy Elliott and her album Under Construction. The original front cover artwork shows Ms Elliott sitting by a wall with what, in the 1980s, would have been known as a ghetto-blaster. There is no sign of any construction. On the remix are three mature women standing on a building site, wearing (well, almost wearing) protective clothing. It is a wonder that any construction would take place with them standing around, as they would be very distracting. Dig!
The Purple People Eater is now a largely forgotten song by Sheb Wooley. Perhaps this is because the original front cover artwork for the single shows a weird creature with a musical pipe coming from his head. On the remix is a babe wearing largely purple colored clothes. Whether she eats people or not is uncertain, perhaps she does this in a shed, with the singer Sheb, and a dog called Shep. She doesn't seem shey, oops, we mean shy. Woolen!
There are literally millions of apples in the world, but Lloyd Banks has chosen a Rotten Apple. The original album cover artwork makes this very clear by illustrating, erm, err, uh... Well it doesn't does it? The remix shows a babe who is using the largest rotten apple in existence, that of a computer. Why she is using it without any clothes on is unclear, perhaps that is why it ended up being rotten in the first place, or maybe not. Slink!
What does Down On The Upside mean? Perhaps Soundgarden know what it means, but the original album front cover artwork doesn't explain it, unless it is somehow connected to being on a stage with a waterfall in the background. On the remix we find a babe who is, quite simply, upside down. Her down is on the upside, and her up is on the downside. Whether this is what the band meant we don't know. Invert!
Whilst we are in a Terence Trent D'Arby kind of mood, here's a remix for his album Vibrator. On the original front cover artwork we find Mr D'Arby wearing what appear to be white angel wings. This is not an obvious choice for an album whose title has a very obvious visualization. And on the remix this very obvious visualization has been used as we find a babe holding a vibrator which must belong to Mr D'Arby, otherwise it would make no sense at all. D'Vlish.
Terence Trent D'Arby (or Sananda Maitreya as he is known today, even though his real name is the far less glamorous Terry Howard) is Holding On To You. He does this by wearing an orange fur, or at least wearing a fur that is then sprayed orange (which is probably more politically correct) on the the original single front cover artwork. On the remix we see two babes who are holding on to each other. This may be a sensible thing to do as they are only wearing high heel sandals, and seem to be standing in a slippery shower cubicle. Clean!
We don't know who Jem necessarily is, or why she wants Just A Ride. Oh, wait, Jem appears on the front cover of her original single artwork so at least we know what she looks like, but what is the ride she is either wanting or offering? On the remix we find a babe standing on a cobbled street in high heels and stockings and holding an umbrella. It seems she could do with a ride, especially as she seems to have forgotten some of her clothes. Or maybe the guy is offering her just a ride. Pick up!
What is it that Maxwell is singing about? It seems that even he himself doesn't really know, as it's just Sumthin' Sumthin'. The original single front cover artwork doesn't help much either as all we see is the singer in a bar or some such place. On the remix we find two babes bending over on a bed and showing sumthin' to us. Two sumthin's as it happens. Now if only we could remember the name of what those sumthin's are called. Then again, Maxwell couldn't remember either. Forgetful!